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Obsessive pop culture disorder ewoks from star: The Dark Secret Behind Star Wars's Goofiest Characters

So if you think Ewoks ruined Star Wars , remember that at least they didn't get you drunk and steal your heritage, or cost you 50 grand.

Liam Adams
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
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  • View Quote Yes and it sounded fucking awesome. Please type the following code.

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  • Revenge of the Sith 5.

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Sign in with Facebook. Please enter a Username. Still, it's hard to imagine one of the most successful working filmmakers getting his ideas from random Canadian fan mail.

Jedi Force Awakens Battle for Endor. How do you conquer the galaxy with idiots like that? My rankings, YMMV. While I would rank parts of some movies the clones rescuing the jedi that are low on then sences from movies higher on the list the sail barge fight. Posted: Wed Jan 03, pm Post subject:. Forgot Password?

Even the word "Ewok" itself is a loose starr of Native culture, created to rhyme with "Miwhok," obsessive compulsive disorder child abuse tribe from the Northern California land where Lucas worked. Hell, the planet "Tatooine" is just a mangled version of the Tunisian town of "Tataouine. Contrary to his account, this report claims that it was the Tibetans who were first given the vodka. Please type the following code. Facebook Twitter Add to Favorites. And the lawyers even caught Lucas in a lie over the invention of another furry alien race:. Please enter a Username.

Or the purple old man "Imperial Obsessive pop culture disorder ewoks from star Revenge of the Sith 6. Anyone that harbored them, would be thrown into the Sarlacc pit along with their entire family View Quote That would have made a great chapter in the extended universe. Which was the worse RotJ action figure to get as a kid? Let's be honest, deep down in our nature, nobody gives a shit if scores of Gungans and Droids get cut down a climactic battle scene. Login Register?

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Nowadays they would be some dumb cgi jar-jar Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Phantom Menace. Man has worshipped many a gold gods through the years.

Forgot Password? Preston alleged that he mailed his treatment for Space Pets to Lucas in Confirm Password. According to Burtt, she "was probably in her 80s" and from "primitive regions of China. According to Burtt, she "wanted a bottle of Vodka. Sign in with Facebook.

The Phantom Menace 5. Like others have said in the past, why was C3P0 worshiped and not Chewy? Attack of the Clones 9. Viral on Cracked. Posted: Sat Feb 18, pm Post subject:.

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So below are the all the rankings of this thread which started after Rogue One came out ordered from newest to oldest. AotC - Battle of Geonosis, Obi-wan. Which was the worse RotJ action figure to get as a kid? Jedi Force Awakens Battle for Endor.

  • It is rumored that Lucas wanted use wookies but it was too difficult to find tall people. Episodes 4 and 5 had it right.

  • Add me to the daily newsletter. Well, in researching this history, we found another crazy detail: George Lucas was accused of stealing the Ewoks!

  • C3PO is gold and shiny. Return of the Jedi 5.

  • Quoted: Yiff in hell nerdfag. I'd imagine they'd have to skin them alive first, burning Ewok fur must smell worse than Hutt shit.

  • In retrospect, one of the least culturally sensitive elements of the production was the way the alien languages were created. Your E-mail.

  • What happened in real life was darker. Via Harvard Law "Would the stenographer please note the occurrence of a mic drop.

Revenge of the Sith 6. The Force Awakens 6. Rogue One 5. So now we have two races of undesirable vermin exterminated

Phantom Menace. They should have kept the same tone as the previous movies instead of going for toy sales. The Force Awakens 3. RotJ was a toy bonanza full of useless, pointless, obnoxious figures. Let's be honest, deep down in our nature, nobody gives a shit if scores of Gungans and Droids get cut down a climactic battle scene. Little kids and the moms who pay for the toys loved them. Or the purple old man "Imperial Dignitary"?

Videos Greatest Hits. Remember this cisorder based on opinion not quality and content. View Quote This. They should have kept the same tone as the previous movies instead of going for toy sales. Yub, Yub. There's an awful lot of empty storm trooper armor at the end, I'm assuming those guys were eaten by the ewoks. One of the like six or seven indistinguishable Ewok figures?

His legal team made some convincing arguments, which included exposing some inconsistencies in Lucasfilm's record-keeping when it came to all stae unsolicited mail they received. The aliens are then taken to Earth, where they become "stressed due to the media attention. All of which gave a bunch of wacky aliens a sense of "authenticity" that "could not be created artificially in the studio.

Viral on Cracked. Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Via Harvard Law "Would the stenographer please note the occurrence of a mic drop. And the lawyers even caught Lucas in a lie over the invention of another furry alien race:.

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Or the purple old man "Imperial Dignitary"? Posted: Wed Jan 03, pm Post subject:. They were fucking evil! The Last Jedi 4. And from what I've read, Ewok pelts carry a leprosy like communicable disease that makes Ebola seem like a common cold.

  • Quote History.

  • That's why the Jawas spoke sped-up Zulu wordswhile Jabba the Hutt's dialogue resembled Quechuaa native Andean language has nothing to do with giant slug mobsters.

  • Quoted: Quoted: They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice.

  • Then submit an article or some other pieces of content.

That's why the Jawas spoke sped-up Zulu wordswhile Jabba the Hutt's dialogue resembled Quechuaa native Andean etar has nothing to do with giant slug mobsters. Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles We read the news that no one wants to! Photoplasty Photoplasty. All of which gave a bunch of wacky aliens a sense of "authenticity" that "could not be created artificially in the studio. He followed the car and questioned the driver, who turned out to be one of the actors who played an Ewok in Jediwhich was still in production at the time.

Quoted: They were Star Wars toys that dissorder shoehorned into the movie in order to sell the product to children. The Phantom Menace 7. They were fucking evil! They're as annoying as Jar-Jar. Empire Strikes Back 3. They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice. Posted: Wed Jan 03, pm Post subject:.

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Preston alleged that he mailed his treatment for Space Pets to Lucas in Sign in with Facebook. Viral on Cracked. According to Burtt, she "wanted a bottle of Vodka. One line of dialogue suggests that the Tibetan immigrants were impressed by the studio's recording equipment, while the other implies they didn't enjoy being recorded, seeing as an Ewok tells C-3PO "I am a silent person.

Phantom Menace. ESB 2. Videos Greatest Hits. RotJ 8. A New Hope 6.

The disorder child are then taken to Earth, where they become "stressed due to the media attention. Not because they asked for it, but because their performances were deemed lackluster and the translator's "secret to obtaining lively dialogue" was to ply them with hooch in order "to relax them. And we know this because Lucas said so under oath. According to legendary sound designer Ben Burtthis process for inventing the languages of Star Wars was to take "exotic" real-life languages, then "mimic" them. Regardless of how you feel about the flesh-eating Teddy Ruxpins, it's worth noting that there's more than one messed-up story about their real-world origins. Since it was relatively obscure, Burtt was put in touch with an elderly refugee who didn't speak English.

While the Star Wars Ewoks don't have Preston's "multicolored fur" or "large yellow eyes," they are "small primitive woodland [creatures] Burtt goes into all the details on his DVD commentary. Add me to the weekly newsletter. And we know this because Lucas said so under oath.

Your Name. Gaffer: Jake Basnett. Add me to the daily newsletter. Here's where things get a tad controversial.

  • Rogue One 5. Ranking my favorite parts from best to least would be all over the place.

  • For some, they're a beloved part of the Star Wars universe. And since no one knew the Kalmuck translation for "We want your voice to inform how our race of alien teddy bears speak while they battle an army led by evil space wizards," she probably never found out.

  • Episodes 4 and 5 had it right.

  • I think it was originally going to be wookies, which would have been way more awesome.

Add me to the weekly newsletter. Continue Ewkks Below Advertisement. However, the most troubling example of this can be found in how Ewokese was developed. Please enter a Username. Eastern Earth cultures were repackaged for American audiences as freaky and alien. For others, the introduction of sentient Build-A-Bears to the franchise was proof that the it had become focused less on story and more on selling toys, cartoons, and eventually murder-filled made-for-TV movies.

Phantom Menace. View Quote The Ewoks are fucking stupid, and then you stop to consider that they defeated storm troopers with the cutest ambush tactics imaginable. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Star Wars. Posted: Sun Apr 30, pm Post subject:.

We all love Star Warsbut some of the tactics Lucasfim employed to make the cilture trilogy back in the '70s and '80s wouldn't exactly fly today. Maybe he should have waited a few years and sued the creators of Space Buddies instead. George Lucas mined distinctly Middle Eastern and Asian elements, then reworked them to tell the story of a white teen from the space suburbs. Regardless of how you feel about the flesh-eating Teddy Ruxpins, it's worth noting that there's more than one messed-up story about their real-world origins.

The Force Awakens 5. C3PO is gold and shiny. Toggle navigation. TFA - Loved all of the new characters and banter; cultuure a retread, lots of fun. The Last Jedi 4. Anyone that harbored them, would be thrown into the Sarlacc pit along with their entire family View Quote That would have made a great chapter in the extended universe. Rogue One 2.

Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Why was he under oath? Hell, the planet "Tatooine" is just a mangled version of the Tunisian town of "Tataouine. What happened in real life was darker.

  • They didn't ruin it per se but it was sort of pathetic watching a bunch of spear chucking teddy bear midgets fighting stormtroopers.

  • Apparently, it's partly based on Kalmuck, a native Mongolian language. Burtt goes into all the details on his DVD commentary.

  • Please type the following code.

  • View Quote C3PO is gold and shiny.

Gaffer: Jake Basnett. Why was he cklture oath? And you know those little songs the Ewoks sang? In the end, the judge ruled in favor of Lucas because the Ewoks in the Space Pets treatment weren't distinct enough to "warrant recognition as a character subject to copyright," since names aren't usually protected by law. I agree to the Terms of Service. Think you got what it takes to write for Cracked.

One of the Siths slowly roasting Ewoks over an open fire. ANH 3. Return of the Jedi 5. Director: Adam Ganser. A New Hope 6. The Force Awakens 6. And from what I've read, Ewok pelts carry a leprosy like communicable disease that makes Ebola seem like a common cold.

Welcome to The Rancor Pit forums! Don't have an account? Continue as Guest. View Quote View All Quotes. The idea to co-opt an indigenous militia in your rebellion is actually kind of cool.

  • Return of the Jedi 7.

  • One line of dialogue suggests that the Tibetan ppp were impressed by the studio's recording equipment, while the other implies they didn't enjoy being recorded, seeing as an Ewok tells C-3PO "I am a silent person. Even before the broad racist caricatures of the prequels, those first three movies were brimming with cultural appropriation.

  • If it had been wookies, that would have made it more believable for what it is worth in that they were stronger and would be an actual threat.

  • Burtt goes into all the details on his DVD commentary.

The idea to co-opt an indigenous militia in your rebellion is actually kind of cool. However, since Lucas was making his money from the franchise via merchandising. Posted: Sun Apr 30, pm Post subject:. Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb.

Please type the following code. Rogue One 2. As a toy craving kid in the target obsessivee when that movie came out, I can confirm they were fucking stupid. View Quote The Ewoks are fucking stupid, and then you stop to consider that they defeated storm troopers with the cutest ambush tactics imaginable. Quoted: Retarded and helped ruin the franchise. Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members.

They took out a heavily armed stormtrooper force with sticks. Rogue One 5. Quoted: They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice. Your E-mail.

So if you think Ewoks ruined Star Warsremember that at least they didn't get you drunk and steal your heritage, or cost you 50 grand. Don't have an account? You yes, you should follow JM on Twitter! And we know this because Lucas said so under oath.

According to Burtt, she "was probably in her 80s" and from "primitive regions of China. Create Account. Toggle navigation. Here's where things get a tad controversial. And the lawyers even caught Lucas in a lie over the invention of another furry alien race:. Gaffer: Jake Basnett. Podcast Podcasts.

But, they were heavy in number and had that damned celebration song I had to sing in 3rd grade. Quoted: Quoted: They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice. Rogue One 2. View Quote Yes and it sounded fucking awesome.

His legal team made some convincing arguments, which included exposing some inconsistencies in Lucasfilm's record-keeping when it came to all the unsolicited mail they received. George Lucas mined distinctly Middle Eastern obsessivs Asian elements, then reworked them to tell the story of a white teen from the space suburbs. Log in Register Username. Your E-mail. So Preston sued Lucas According to the lawsuit, Preston didn't even find out that there were "Ewoks" in the third Star Wars movie until he was in Los Angeles and randomly saw a car with an "EWOK" vanity license plate. You better leave me alone.

Goto page Previous 123. Ewoks were brilliant from a merchandising standpoint. Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb. Yes, yes it does. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

Even the word "Ewok" itself is a loose obsessive pop culture disorder ewoks from star of Native culture, created to rhyme with "Miwhok," the tribe from the Northern California land where Lucas worked. Not because they asked for it, but because their performances were deemed lackluster and the translator's "secret to obtaining lively dialogue" was to ply them with hooch in order "to relax them. You better leave me alone. Please enter a Username. He followed the car and questioned the driver, who turned out to be one of the actors who played an Ewok in Jediwhich was still in production at the time. We all love Star Warsbut some of the tactics Lucasfim employed to make the original trilogy back in the '70s and '80s wouldn't exactly fly today.

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A race of intelligent snakes on the Forest Moon would have been more believable Confirm Cancel. TFA 7. Nowadays they would be some dumb cgi jar-jar Quote History. A New Hope 2. Quoted: That would have made a great chapter in the extended universe.

Kirk almost boldly went there. Contrary to his account, this report claims that it was the Tibetans who were first given the vodka. So Preston sued Lucas While Lucas probably got a lot cu,ture nutty fan mail following the success of Star Warsthis one featured an alien race called the "Ewoks. That's why the Jawas spoke sped-up Zulu wordswhile Jabba the Hutt's dialogue resembled Quechuaa native Andean language has nothing to do with giant slug mobsters. We all love Star Warsbut some of the tactics Lucasfim employed to make the original trilogy back in the '70s and '80s wouldn't exactly fly today. Don't make me do this again.

As an added bonus, they could trade the pelts with the Jawa's in exchange for droids. Quoted: That would have made a great chapter in the extended universe. Quoted: Quoted: They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice. The Phantom Menace 7. Yub, Yub.

Contrary to his account, this report claims that it was the Tibetans who were first given the vodka. You yes, you should follow JM on Twitter! Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb. According to Burtt, she "wanted a bottle of Vodka. Add me to the daily newsletter.

According to ewo,s lawsuit, Preston didn't even find out that there were "Ewoks" in the third Star Wars movie until he was in Los Angeles and randomly saw a car with an "EWOK" vanity license plate. Kirk almost boldly went there. Maybe he should have waited a few years and sued the creators of Space Buddies instead. Log in Register Username. It wasn't just "Grandma Vodka.

Please type the following code. Facebook Twitter Add to Favorites. They were Star Wars toys that were shoehorned into the movie in order to sell the product to children. Quoted: I liked the movie but the ewoks were kind of lame.

  • The Force Awakens 3. Not quite to the level of Jar Jar because they didn't talk much.

  • Even the word "Ewok" itself is a loose appropriation of Native culture, created to rhyme with "Miwhok," the tribe from the Northern California land where Lucas worked. Videos Greatest Hits.

  • I liked the movie but the ewoks were kind of lame.

Forgot Password? Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. For others, the introduction of sentient Build-A-Bears to the franchise was proof that the it had become focused less on story and more on selling toys, cartoons, and eventually murder-filled made-for-TV movies. Your Name. To turn on reply notifications, click here.

My rankings, YMMV. So below are the all the rankings of this thread which started after Rogue One came out ordered from newest to oldest. Like Jar-Jar lame or were they legit? Star Wars: A New Hope 2. RedKnight wrote:.

Via Harvard Law "Would the stenographer please note the occurrence of a mic drop. Toggle navigation. To turn on reply notifications, click here.

According to legendary sound designer Ben Burtthis process for inventing the languages of Star Wars was to take "exotic" real-life languages, then "mimic" them. Burtt obsessive pop culture disorder ewoks from star into all the details on his DVD commentary. According to Burtt, she "was probably in her 80s" and from "primitive regions of China. I agree to the Terms of Service. In retrospect, one of the least culturally sensitive elements of the production was the way the alien languages were created. Gaffer: Jake Basnett. Videos Greatest Hits.

  • Rogue One 6. And maybe r5d4.

  • Before you roll your eyes at the suggestion, think about it for a minute.

  • This But every star wars shelf was picked clean except for ewoks and figures like Rancor Keeper and Walrus man. However, since Lucas was making his money from the franchise via merchandising.

  • To turn on reply notifications, click here. Here's where things get a tad controversial.

I agree to the Terms of Service. And it has nothing to do with the fact that those cuddly Endorians were essentially adorable Viet Cong. Gaffer: Jake Basnett. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Sign in with Facebook.

Obseesive make me do this again. Empire Strikes Back 2. A military force capable of light speed travel was defeated by teddy bears with sticks and stones. Also, didn't the ewoks initially capture the rebels to roast them over a fire and eat them? Ewoks were brilliant from a merchandising standpoint.

George Lucas mined distinctly Middle Eastern and Asian elements, then reworked them to tell the story of a white teen from the space suburbs. Pictofact Pictofacts. Like when they're passing firewood?

Before you roll your eyes at the suggestion, think obsessive pop culture disorder ewoks from star it for a minute. Log in Register Username. Pictofact Pictofacts. Via Harvard Law "Would the stenographer please note the occurrence of a mic drop. InLucas had to journey to Calgary, Alberta presumably by Tauntaun to testify in a copyright infringement case against him. For others, the introduction of sentient Build-A-Bears to the franchise was proof that the it had become focused less on story and more on selling toys, cartoons, and eventually murder-filled made-for-TV movies.

The aliens are then taken to Earth, where they become "stressed due to the media attention. Show More Show Less. There are actually two instances of real Tibetan in Return Of The Jediseemingly taken directly from these recording sessions. Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles We read the news that no one wants to!

Even before the broad racist caricatures of disorder ewoks from prequels, those first three movies were brimming onsessive cultural appropriation. George Lucas mined distinctly Middle Eastern and Asian elements, then reworked them to tell the story of a white teen from the space suburbs. We all love Star Warsbut some of the tactics Lucasfim employed to make the original trilogy back in the '70s and '80s wouldn't exactly fly today. Hell, the planet "Tatooine" is just a mangled version of the Tunisian town of "Tataouine.

Why was he under oath? Still, it's hard to imagine one of the most successful working filmmakers getting his ideas from random Canadian fan mail. Don't make me do this again. Even before the broad racist caricatures of the prequels, those first three movies were brimming with cultural appropriation.

A New Hope 3. Jabba was a great addition to the story. Photoplasty Photoplasty. How do you conquer the galaxy with idiots like that? The Phantom Menace 7. Don't make me do this again.

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I bet those little fucking savages would have fought with whoever would feed them human flesh. The Empire Strikes Back 8. Attack of the Clones 9. Little kids and the moms who pay for the toys loved them. Posted: Sat Feb 18, pm Post subject:.

I have to put Return of the Jedi first. View Quote I can suspend disbelief with the best of them, but I agree. Continue as Guest. On the same level as Jar Jar Rogue One 2. The idea to co-opt an indigenous militia in your rebellion is actually kind of cool. Yes, yes it does.

  • They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination ppp extreme prejudice. In Episodes 4 and 5, the human characters are central to the story and all non-human characters with the exception of Chewbacca as a sidekick and Yoda who is more or less portrayed as a wise old human are basically background noise that add color to the universe.

  • All of which gave a bunch of wacky aliens a sense of "authenticity" that "could not be created artificially in the studio.

  • Back to top. Think you got what it takes to write for Cracked.

Which was the worse RotJ action figure to get as a kid? TFA 7. Jabba was a great addition to the story. And from what I've read, Ewok pelts carry a leprosy like communicable disease that makes Ebola seem like a common cold. Ewoks were brilliant from a merchandising standpoint.

Podcast Podcasts. Honest Headlines: 15 Truthful Titles We read the news that no one wants to! Facebook Twitter Add to Favorites. Don't make me do this again. You better leave me alone.

Quoted: C3PO is gold and shiny. The Last Jedi 4. Pictofact Pictofacts. Attack of the Clones The Phantom Menace. A race of intelligent snakes on the Forest Moon would have been more believable

Gaffer: Jake Basnett. More Forums Personal Experiences. And you know those little songs the Ewoks sang? Show More Show Less.

  • Anyone that harbored them, would be thrown into the Sarlacc pit along with their entire family That would have made a great chapter in the extended universe.

  • Kirk almost boldly went there. Show More Show Less.

  • As they were used as slave labor to build both death stars. Posted: Sat Feb 18, pm Post subject:.

  • Toggle navigation.

View Quote I can suspend disbelief with the best of them, but I agree. Why can't they just be perfect? As an added bonus, they could trade the pelts with the Jawa's in exchange for droids. Quoted: Yiff in hell nerdfag. Quoted: They should have been slaughtered and hunted down to extermination with extreme prejudice.

If you're already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. More Forums Personal Experiences. Confirm Action Are you sure you wish to do this? They were Star Wars toys that were shoehorned into the movie in order to sell the product to children.

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